How do you survive when a family member or close friend dies?
Although people approach loss differently, experts agree that “you can’t go around it” to cope; you must go through the grief process, one way or another.
One person who loses a spouse might deal with it alone, perhaps depending on spiritual resources. Another might attend grief support groups, read books about bereavement, and spend time journaling and talking with friends and family.
Although grief often makes it difficult to concentrate, it might be helpful to try to focus on activities such as work and physical exercise.
Where to Turn
You may feel like old friends don’t stay in touch like you would expect. It could be that they don’t have much experience with grief, and you may need to let them know how they can help.
Though it’s natural to wonder why a loss happened and why things couldn’t be different, it’s generally not helpful to continually ask “what if?” That won’t change things and may cause more pain.
The many support resources available include books such as “Safe Passage: Words to Help the Grieving” by Molly Fumia. This series of contemplative readings describes the stages of grief, from near disbelief and denial to acceptance and growth.
Widownet.org offers information and self-help resources for and by widows and widowers, including a message board that serves as an online support group.
When a loved one dies, you somehow need to keep going and work through the grief process. Eventually, you’ll find healing and hope.