You spent 18 years preparing for this day. Your kid is heading off to college and the prospect is more than a little scary. But rest assured, your kid is scared, too. Here’s what you can do to help your new college student make the transition to an exciting new life without you.
- Smile. When you drop your child off at college, he needs to know he made the right decision and everything will be OK. A confident smile from you is essential. Save the tears for the drive home.
- Put down the phone. The urge to call every day might be overwhelming. But don’t give in. Your new college student is learning to be independent and the last thing he needs is Mommy or Daddy checking up on him.
- Resist the urge to get involved. This is your kid’s experience, not yours. Don’t pick his classes. Don’t decorate his dorm room. Don’t help with his homework. Don’t try to solve his problems. As much as you want to, just don’t.
- Trust your child’s instincts. He’ll eat when he’s hungry, sleep when he’s tired and get to class on time even if you’re not there to remind him.
- Stay calm. It’s inevitable that your college student will call home in a panic over a paper that’s due the next day, a difficult professor or a challenging roommate. Be the voice of reason; don’t let yourself get caught up in the drama.
- Don’t ask too many questions. Even though you want to know every detail of what’s happening at college, don’t barrage him with questions. The less you ask, the more he’ll volunteer.
- Keep your emotions in check. Sure, you’re going to miss your kid and it’s OK to tell him so. Just don’t dwell on it. And don’t, under any circumstances, ask if he’s lonely or homesick. That’s just asking for trouble.